resolutions in september
September 1, 2010
I received some pictures from the Flugtag pre-party shindig we got to attend:
That’s my big, bald sweetheart, Joshua.
She of the gracious invite to said shindig, Aislinn.
These images tie into one of two new resolutions.
- I will be less stingy with photographs
I’m notoriously camera shy and that is putting it nicely. I’m generally pretty profane in my aversion to being in a picture and despite all my ‘radical self-love‘ speak, I insist every one that does end up taken is ugly and… the f-word. Fat. All the time with this! I need to cut the shit. Pictures don’t have to be pretty. They have to capture a moment in time so you can laugh at your hair with your (or someone else’s) grandbabies!
I may not share all or even most of the pictures I find myself taking willingly but I will not shy away or bash myself either!
The second resolution I recently made, and please suppress your laughter, is:
- I will be nicer
Simply put. I have learned a lot about myself and I don’t like a lot of what I see. I recognize the selfishness and the roundabout and confusing way I try to deal with my anger. I see that I try to place blame more often than I will accept it as my own. My personality is generally very abrasive and without sacrificing who I am, I think I could make a conscious effort to be friendlier and more engaging. I’ve unofficially made Ree the supervisor of this resolution. As such, she is allowed to tell me when I’m acting the opposite of my resolve and I can’t take it personally. Because that wouldn’t be nice.
Wish me luck. Please.
-CJ
resolution update
June 8, 2010
I’ve always struggled to keep on top of events that require acknowledgment. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, etc. My friends and family deserve recognition on their big days and I’m forever forgetting. I put the card in the mail the day of, if at all. Or send a text around lunch, which is about as impersonal as it gets. My mid-2010 (middle of the year already!) resolution is to be more on top of this. There’s simply no excuse not be a better person in this area. Two cards are going out today and I’m utilizing all forms of reminders and highlighters to be aware of what is coming up. It’s my responsibility to do what I can to remind the loved ones that they’re thought about, goddamit. So help me, I’ll get this.
On that note…
Six months ago I resolved to make some changes. So far…
- Forever the picky eater, I will try new foods and branch out from my usual favorite staples this year.
My appetite is broadening and with that, my cooking skills. My feelings about the kitchen are sort of kind of a step above loathing now, which is huge progress. Where before I dreaded even coming home if it meant I’d have to make my next meal (the horror), I get excited to pick up new things at the grocery store for experimentation in my kitchenlab.
Some new likes: avocado (like, within the last two weeks), SOUR CREAM, cucumbers, potato and macaroni salad, and Chinese food (namely, orange chicken). I planted four zucchini plants in my front yard, which will lead to a number of recipes including batch upon batch of zucchini bread, which I’m silly thrilled for. (Other suggestions?) I’ve acquired a BBQ and will be playing with all kinds of seasonings, marinades and rubs this summer. You’re welcome for dinner anytime, you know.
- I will spend more time with my sister, assuming she lets me. (Fourteen-year-olds are busy individuals.)
My sister and I are talking and texting more and more often. The sleepovers aren’t so frequent but she’s out of school soon and I will be stealing her away from hormone ridden boys for amusement parks and hikes. She has no say in the matter, as I’m the oldest. I’m hoping for a shit ton of live music too. It’s about time she got on board with my influence.
- I will take better physical care of myself.
If there were a resolution progress contest, I’d have the gold, but for sure and I would flaunt it proudly. I’ve let some old, bad habits bury themselves, cut way back on hard liquor, made an almost daily stretching routine and utilized the oil cleansing method for my skin. There’s deep conditioning, hiking, almost meticulous oral hygiene rituals, moisturizing and sun screening. I’m pretty proud of how this resolution has stuck for these last few months. It’s integral for the long run of this machine that I keep up regular maintenance and remind myself that I hope to be around for a while, and not look too bad while I’m at it. The last two evenings have ended in a sweaty mess on the treadmill and tonight will as well. (Text to the boy: Twenty-five minutes tonight, GONNA DO IT.)
resolutions, the 2010 edition
January 6, 2010
They’re silly. If we really wanted to make changes, we wouldn’t wait for the calendar to tell us when we could do it. And yet, I’ve made some. And I’ve done pretty well for myself in this whoppin’ six days.
- Forever the picky eater, I will try new foods and branch out from my usual favorite staples this year.
A big group of us cabbed it home from the party we went to on New Year’s Eve. The next morning we all went back to the same house for some traditional fixings of pork (for progress), black-eyed-peas (luck) and cabbage (prosperity). I’m a total carnivore but one look at the limp greenish cabbage and the spotted peas and I was shaking my head like a stubborn toddler. Eventually I caved. And hated them both. But at least I tried.
My ‘apartment family’ (neighborfriends) frequent a local restaurant chain because they’re friendly with some bartenders who happen to miscalculate our tab on a good night. I order one of two things to eat every time I’m there and the same tall beer. I have for years. Last time we went I changed up my order, much to my delight, and sampled a different (awful) ale.
The other day I had to run an errand on my lunch break that left mimimal grub time. I almost turned into a chain drive-thru for the same unhealthy meal I always order there but instead went up a few more streets and found a tiny French café that grilled me up my first panini.
Last night my lady friend, Jen, cooked a fabulous dinner for Ree, Kiddo and I. Her awesome green leaf salad, stuffed bell peppers and a side of seasoned vegetables that included cucumbers. I stuck my nose up at the cucumbers immediately. Then I remembered what year it was and my promise to myself and I took several bites. They weren’t nearly as bad as I had thought though I don’t know if I’ll try them again.
- I will spend more time with my sister, assuming she lets me. (Fourteen-year-olds are busy individuals.)
My friend said my mom was ‘brave’ to let my sister come spend a few days at the abode for New Year’s. This is mostly true though it’s unlikely she would be exposed to anything around my group of friends that she hasn’t seen before. We had our bonding time (and she totally bonded with my neighbor’s fifteen-year-old) (IN A SUPERVISED FASHION, gawd). She’s become so much like me that I’m afraid for her. Afraid my genetic code of depression and selfishness and stubborness will find its way into her as she gets older. For now we have music and movies and tons of favorite foods in common so we munch and we watch and we listen and I can and do tell her everything. I hope she does the same.
- I will take better physical care of myself.
Like making concrete habits of stretching, flossing, moisturizing, drinking less alcohol and more water, and refusing to inhale as much second-hand smoke. This is the only body and skin I get. I should be a lot nicer.
When my current stash runs out, I’m going to make some oil based cleansers at home and turn to as many natural products as I can. (Oatmeal soap bar stashed in the shower now!) I start my mornings at work with water before I turn to caffiene and I ditch the afternoon Diet Coke for a glass of water.
- I’ll continue with the green habits I’ve developed (much to my roommate’s annoyance, I’m sure) and research more for daily use.
For now I’m going to make the current recycling at home a little easier with a few ideas I’ve got to encourage Ree and the people who frequent the abode to do it too. Aluminum, paper, plastic and glass don’t go in the Dumpster outside. Ree got me a kickass Buy•ology Reusable bag that I keep in my car. I’m going to dramatically lessen the amount of plastic bags I take home. (Clothes shopping the other day, I asked if I could just carry out the small stack of jeans and a top. The cashier smiled so wide. We were on the same page.) And I’m all over cleaning with vinegar.
Think I can do it? Think I’m a turd for trying?
What are yours?
-CJ
week 2
December 2, 2009
This one time, I blew my second seven day resolution and no one was surprised.
I resolution’d last Friday that I would not eat any fast food for seven days (at least) and that I’d pack a healthy lunch for the entire work week. It’s damn near impossible for me to eat three healthy meals a day for any ongoing period of time. I do not diet but I figured I could do a week’s worth of excellent lunches. And on only day two of the work week everyone got together for a birthday lunch that happened to take place at my favorite chain of fast food places and I could not deny them. It would be cruel!
I could have worked around it but I didn’t. Because fail feels so right.
In a group of nine I sat with the two co-workers I’d socialized the least with and we had over an hour of intense, emotional conversation that I think surprised us all. When we got back to the office I sent a quick note: It was nice talking to you ladies! and they each sent back the sweetest damn notes that’ve ever been addressed to me.
So I’m totally cool with failing this week, is what I’m sayin’.
-CJ
week 1
November 20, 2009
Super sweet doctor asked me to write one complimentary thing about myself every day.
I’m struggling with this.
But I pass my wall calendar every day with the big green numbers logging the minutes spent on the treadmill and I think… that? Is success. And determination. And consistency. (And an eight pound loss in one month, baby!)
So instead of daily compliments, I’m challenging myself on weekly resolutions. Something to stick to for a seven day period each week.
…I may need a bigger calendar…
As of today, Friday, I will not write anything negative – here, by e-mail, or private journal – no matter how bad my day is. I’ll dig for and find the good in everything that happens and the complaints will subside. I’m sure they’ll rattle about furiously but therein lies the challenge.
-CJ
