Of note, the reason that Corona six-pack might seem so super on sale is because it is CORONITA. Which is about half the fluid ounces of a normal bottle of beer. As I loaded a six-pack into the fridge for Josh, my hand seemed to dwarf the tiny bottles and I asked tentatively, “Are these… smaller… than normal?”

Indeed, very much so.

*It has been so long since I’ve seen an entertaining movie. But Red was worthy.

Next thing I knew, I was mad-scramble cleaning because four friends were on their way over. So much for movie night.

At one point, myself and two ladies (the Girlfriends) were at the kitchen table, while the gentlemen (the Boyfriends) made a second liquor store run for more mixers and flavored, girly cigars for yours truly. We were talking loudly and laughing and such when a strange and foul smell came over the room. I looked to the small bar attached to the kitchen counter, where we keep the cat food to prevent Lucy from eating it all. Furby was face down in his bowl, mashing his flat face against the food and trying to lap some kibble into his mouth (a hilarious struggle I enjoy watching, while Josh takes pity and piles up the food in little mountains for them) and his tail was completely covering a large, purple ceramic bowl that holds a big lavendar candle. That was lit.

His ass snuffed my candle.

Lavendar tainted cat ass hair. In my kitchen.

It took a little while to air it out. When Josh got home, I told him the story by way of saying that the smell was not Furby’s butt hair. Nope.

Oh, the death glare. 

It has been made clear that he loves those kiddens more than he loves Kiddo and I combined. I’m working on accepting this.

-CJ

(Via the universe.)

Morning time lovins, *bow chicka*

Early morning impatience behind the Couple That Asks Questions at Knott’s Berry Farm. I sent Kiddo and her dad inside the park and waited and waited and then I sighed and waited more because all of the questions that could be formed in the English language had just been asked… and then we were on to Spanish. I just needed admission for my kid sister, but the questions did not cease. In fact, I’m posting this from my cell phone, while I wait behind the couple, 1.5 days later.

Admission granted, sister and I sought the biggest and the baddest rollercoasters we could while Kiddo and her dad took off to do smaller, less bad things. Xcelerator is my new favorite thing in the world, even though it is spelled xcelerator. Are we so fast we forgot how to spell, RIDE? HUH?

Eighty-two miles per hour in 3.2 seconds plus a ninety degree drop. In the name of awesome, amen.

The day continued in such a way, pairing off for two to enjoy the mania at a time, Kiddo begging to ride the same damn rollercoaster over and over again. At 35mph, you do not impress me, Jaguar!, even if you do come complete with an exclamation point.

By the time our feet were blistered, we’d conquered about everything except Pink’s.

I am pissed off at Pink’s. What with their incredible reputation and Hollywood Legend Since 1939-age, I wanted so, so much better. We had finally gotten around to trying the famous place for lunch that afternoon now that there is a location in Buena Park (and it is conveinently located right outside the amusement park) and it was just suck.

All suck. All of it. Don’t care if the original is better, I have lost my motivation.

We packed up and hit the movie theater up the street for some overachieving AC and amusement by way of Toy Story 3. It took over twenty-four hours to convince Kiddo that it wouldn’t be a complete waste of her time. She would have much rather seen Avatar: The Last Airbender but we’re big giant jerks and we went to the toy movie. Someone should really call protective services. It doesn’t get much meaner.

Later, we dropped my sister off at home and popped a pizza in the oven for a late night dinner with our new favorite show, To Catch a Predator. My guilty amusement and the need for such public documentation and the capitalizing on the dumb dumbs is all for another day. WE CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF THIS SHOW.

Baby daddy was the recipient of an excellent dinner at Benihana the night before and a BJ Penn action figure for his sweet dadly contributions to my precious precious’ life. He’s pretty good at what he does, I must say. Right when my patience gives, he has a way of swooping in. He catches and appreciates all of the little things I miss and no one can make our kid laugh as hard as he does.

-CJ

My head is but a tangle and that’s not just the hair. I find I need to check my notes often to remember that breathing comes first.

The work week from hell is scheduled to end tomorrow.

When come down at home, it’s routine and quiet. Blessed, blessed routine & quiet. And Nag Champa.

The weekend included Benihana action, little sister time, cousin + girlfriend sleepover, How to Train Your Dragon in 3D (Toothless! WANT!), Zombieland, pancakes, new glasses!, and drinking at work. Really, really.

I’ll be back.

-CJ

ZOMBIELAND 2! In 3-D!

 ”We want you to be looking down at your popcorn to make sure there isn’t blood on it,” Reese said laughingly. “There will be a lot of fluids flying!”

I volunteer to be Tallahassee’s love interest. I’m kind that way.

The bad:

No Killswitch Engage for me.

“KILLSWITCH ENGAGE vocalist Howard Jones is leaving the band’s current headlining tour with The Devil Wears Prada and Dark Tranquility due to unforeseen circumstances. All That Remains vocalist Phil Labonte will be filling in for Jones for a few shows in the interim, until the KsE guys can determine what the plan will be for the remaining tour dates, which are currently scheduled to run through the end of March.”

Does anyone want to buy a single pit ticket to the March 6th show? If Howard’s not going, neither am I. I’m going to cry under my desk for a while.

-CJ

The Grammy game went surprisingly slow though there were multiple instances of two or more consecutive drinks. Eventually I made myself a real cocktail and shortly after, got really sick of the dragged out mediocre performances save for Stevie Nicks on Rhiannon (where my ninja gets her first name, excitingly enough). If we’d watched the whole thing on mute and just admired some of the excruciatingly beautiful people I think it would have been much better.

No more award shows or award-consideration bootlegs for me.

-CJ

Josh: Is that a Care Bear?

Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland soundtrack:
1. “Alice (Underground)” performed by Avril Lavigne
2. “The Poison” performed by The All-American Rejects
3. “The Technicolor Phase” performed by Owl City
4. “Her Name Is Alice” performed by Shinedown
5. “Painting Flowers” performed by All Time Low
6. “Where’s My Angel” performed by Metro Station
7. “Strange” performed by Tokio Hotel and Kerli
8. “Follow Me Down” performed by 3OH!3 featuring Neon Hitch
9. “Very Good Advice” performed by Robert Smith
10. “In Transit” performed by Mark Hoppus with Pete Wentz
11. “Welcome to Mystery” performed by Plain White T’s
12. “Tea Party” performed by Kerli
13. “The Lobster Quadrille” performed by Franz Ferdinand
14. “Running Out of Time” performed by Motion City Soundtrack
15. “Fell Down a Hole” performed by Wolfmother
16. “White Rabbit” performed by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals

Confirmed bands for Coachella, 2010
* Aeroplane
* As Tall As Lions
* The Big Pink
* Caravan Palace
* Corinne Bailey Rae
* Craze & Klever
* Devo
* El Gran Silencio
* Hockey
* Hot Chip
* Iglu & Hartly
* Kevin Devine
* LCD Soundsystem
* Mayer Hawthorne
* Miike Snow
* Muse
* Passion Pit
* Phoenix
* Porcupine Tree
* The Raveonettes
* Spoon
* Vampire Weekend
* The xx
* Yeasayer
* Zoé

BLAH, I say. BLAH to it ALL.

-CJ

I am an intolerable shit, really. The a-ha! was actually more in line with, …oh.

Anyway, I just did it again. I was talking/typing to a friend who has a staunch opposition to organized religion (and some of the most profound and deep things to say on her personal beliefs) who finds herself in a relationship with a lovely, lovely Christian gal. She’s working on being open-minded about their opposing ideas and in my comments to her, I said, “I have to remember that open-mindedness and atheism are not synonymous.” It hurts my chest to even say that. That’s the degree of stubbornness I’m dealing with here. And I’m JUST becoming aware that it exists.

I’m afraid I’ve been a horrible snob for a huge portion of my life and I’m very sorry. (Little stubborn remains screech, “If they’re offended, they should have tried to talk to you about it and not harbored resentment!” GOD, I’m a bitch.)

Ree and I were watching Sex & The City (movie) yesterday at the part where Samantha is harassing Miranda for her exposed pubic forest while she’s in a bathing suit. Miranda flips out about how her lack of grooming/care for nether appearance is part of what led Steve to stray so obviously it’s all her fault that he cheated, etc etc, I cannot believe I’m detailing this fucking movie.
Miranda storms off. Samantha calls after her. I interject, “Fuck that. I wouldn’t be sorry. She put words in her mouth and twisted it up. I’d let her go.” Ree laughed knowingly.
“I know you would.”

I don’t really like that about myself. I have some work to do.

-CJ

I KNOW.

I asked Ree if she remembered the anti-drug commercial with Rachel Leigh Cook, where she annihilates a kitchen with a frying pan. It was the one thing I’d seen that Ree hadn’t so we pulled it up on YouTube. At the end, Cook asks coyly, “Any questions?”

Ree and I had the same one at the same time: How you doin’?

-CJ