check your sugarcoat at the door

I’ve been doing a lot of cross-posting lately but no one would know that (okay, maybe Misty but she won’t hold it against me) so it’s technically not lazy.

For some reason, Kiddo has completely lost the academic reverence she once had for school work. What was Very Important Matters a mere school year ago are now excused with, “I almost remembered, Mama. But then I forgot.” Yeah, verbatim. God, if I could use that one at work. ”I almost remembered to get here on time but I forgot I love my body pillow more than I love my job.” 

It became an annoyance to repeat myself every day. The annoyance edged into an anger so I was snapping at her every time I found a stray paper in her backpack when it should be turned into her teacher. And when I’d search for homework where there was none, I could hardly resist throwing my hands in the air and wailing on until her lips trembled.

I’ve only been doing this for close to seven years but even I know that’s not how to get my way.

I was fed the fuck up three weeks ago. I had explained to her how important responsibility was and how she needed to PWN that shit but it wasn’t sticking. So we made a chart. She gets a yes or a no on each box, every day, under categories she needs to cover like turning in homework, bring home/completing homework, chores, etc. Days that have a no in any category are days that don’t end in dessert or cartoons. Give me another week before I call this venture entirely successful.

The original chore list, taped up next to the chart, listed a final chore: KISS YOUR MOTHER. The revised chore list, taped inside the pantry, doesn’t include this one but still, every day, she comes up to me after feeding Jack and checking Veronica’s water supply and says, “I’m on the last one!” and puckers up.

If this doesn’t make you want a daughter, you’re dead inside. No, you’re probably more lively than the average manic turd like myself but I digress. I completely forget about how clean my house isn’t and how bad my shoulders hurt and how much I dread getting up early the next morning and I melt into that little voice, that soft face, those scrawny arms and those impossibly blue eyes with the ever-extending dark lashes and I kiss her back and the earth keeps turning except all is right again.

-CJ