what I didn’t know was
March 6, 2010
When Kiddo first started going to public school, I was incredibly self-conscious of what the SUV driving, bland slacks/heels/tie wearing, conservative parents thought of me. I’ve come to realize I have way more in common with them than I ever thought, praise Buddha, but it took a while to get there. Scanning through some old writing I had, I saw this from 9/8/08:
“Of course you can’t appreciate or understand a completely different generation of parents – you’re too close minded. It’s not my fault Bitsy and Harry waited to have non-recreational sex until they were forty. I was doing it up right on the arm of the couch/backseat of the car/parking lot behind Wendy’s. AND WHAT.”
ahaha, god, I am such an ass.
-CJ
suggestion
March 3, 2010
Regarding my tweet about ordering a Russian line up ASAP:
(1) shot of vodka, preferably not well
(1) shot of Kahlua
(1) shot of milk
Line them up in front of you, down them quickly, one by one. By the end, you’re smiling the smile of someone who just had a huge glass of Nesquik.
Sinner.
-CJ
all I got
January 25, 2010
This morning my dad was hospitalized for potential kidney stones. Thinking of that man in pain makes me die a little bit.
Today Ree and I made same-time appointments to donate blood two weeks from now. I’ve only been meaning to do this for about eight years.
Last week I petitioned an Ethnic Studies class that was full. The first words out of the instructor’s mouth included ‘adding’ & ‘get out.’ Next Monday I try again, for Human Biology. I just want to go to school, goddammit.
Kiddo’s seventh birthday is in five days. Coerce twenty-five plus individuals into having a good time for the sake of your precious precious’s happiness? ‘KAY.
It takes a handful of (unrelated to above) seemingly petty incidents hitting you at the same time to make Cloud 9 feel like a fucking hail storm. Someone get me down from here. Bring rum.
-CJ
preferably in purple leather?
January 18, 2010
“I’m going to tell you something that happened to me that is totally unflattering but that never stops me.”
A MUZZLE, people. Get me a MUZZLE.
-CJ
but then there’s this
January 13, 2010
The people who dedicate so much of their energy to protest things, especially when they’re protesting the gays or porn, clearly have a fascination with it that they don’t know what to do with or are terrified of. The poor lads…
Can someone please get this girl an education so she’ll stop doing what her Pa tells her to do?
-CJ
YOU CAN’T CHANGE ME
November 23, 2009
I will never, ever understand Facebook or Twilight. And it seems as if there’s nothing else in the world right now. Can we change the subject?
-CJ
not that I don’t adore them
November 18, 2009
It’s just that Radiohead before eight a.m. will turn your brain inside out. High & Dry was brutally antagonizing me.
-CJ
one rant & two funny
November 16, 2009
Because I cannot be troubled to plow through this stomach throbbing and sinus pain and say anything comprehensive, I will not recap the painfully hilarious Ocean Beach overnight with the added bonus of my ladyfriend Kristine’s birthday this weekend.
Yet.
Rant: November 13th marked two years of BFFship with Ree. Knowing the anniversary date of a friendship is creepy, says one. Pssh. I fucking own creepy, like you expected any less. So two years ago we were forging a friendship that stemmed from innocent mutual office crushing over my first sake bomb and a teppan dinner that completely restructured all of my previous favorite restaurant/food standards. So I sent her some bright colored tulips. And on the day of delivery, the company called to say, “Those tulips you picked off our site? Are all gone.” I whined that Ree doesn’t have a second favorite that I know of so I don’t waaaanna make a second choice. I settled on yellow roses, which they were also out of. I asked if they could please send something bright and happy that exclaims, “You’re probably one of the very few reasons I’m alive and well, thank you infinitely,” and what they sent did not say this and also? It arrived at 4:50 p.m. when we were most of the way to San Diego. It was prolly the last time I splurge on the silliness of flower sending. Next time I’ll be like, “Let’s have food and beer,” and she will love that just as much as some stupid ass bouquet of suck.
Funny: On 30 Rock, some schmarmy agent was kissing Liz’s ass when he took a call from Brooke Hogan. “You tall glass of bitch!” I nearly seizured from hysterics.
Funny #2: My awesome friend damienne was expressing her ‘punk as fukk’ toughness and said (now that I think of it, I don’t even have repost permission, so if you hate me, my wise writing friend, I am dearly sorry, but this cannot be kept from the public), “I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN THE CAR OF PAIN.”
-CJ
World Series
November 5, 2009
I’m sad to baseball end. During the season you can guarantee something good on television most nights, arrange dates or family/friend gatherings in little plastic seats over the bright green expanse of the field where you’ve got an almost unbeatable game experience to compensate the overpriced beers, and have a daily conversation topic with most everyone I know.
*sigh*
I was silly happy to see the Dodgers go as far as they did and I figured, like last year, if they’re going to lose to someone they might as well lose to the team everyone else lost to as well. So I actually rooted for the Phillies over the Yankees during this World Series. And I was a sad panda when it all ended with the Yankees’ 27th World Series victory.
From an article titled Baseball Flame on Feministe:
“When teams like the Yankees buy all their talent, it takes the heart out of the game for fans who appreciate the teamwork and training needed to achieve a mutually shared goal like winning a national title. Where’s the art in buying your team?”
Thoughts?
-CJ
Santa Anas
October 28, 2009
Forever in southern California I’ve heard mention complaints about the Santa Ana winds. (Wiki def: strong, extremely dry offshore winds that characteristically sweep through in Southern California and northern Baja California in late fall into winter.)
And now I live much closer to Santa Ana than ever before, and I happen to work in Santa Ana, and what the fuck do ya know, they’ve had right to complain all along. My entire office is sniffling and itching at their dry, irritated noses, battling hair static (I WILL PUNCH STATIC IN THE CUNT), sneezing and blinking tears back from their red eyes.
I know some people have snow. (I’m looking at you, Wyoming friends.) But I am a spoiled soCal native and I don’t know do weather. I do chilled breezes at the very least. I don’t know any better.
These dry winds? Have got to go.
-CJ
