In the lunch room, I studiously read over my notes on the Native American experience in America. And while that has nothing to do with my story, please note: 90% of what you learn about history before college is TOTAL SHIT.
Three co-workers were huddled up, squawking about how text messaging ‘and Twitter’ were ruining peoples’, especially young kids’, ability to communicate*. Co-worker #1 went on about a text fight her middle school daughter had with a peer and how she soothed her saying, “It’s not you.” (Essentially, it’s their immaturity and need for drama.)
Co-worker #2: “She is so lucky to have you…”
Co-worker #1: “Well, when I was reading her diary…”
Not such a lucky thirteen-year-old anymore. Those thoughts at that age are not only humiliating in retrospect, but they are deeply personal. The world of a thirteen-year-old is so much smaller than that of her mother’s, no matter their relationship, but whatever it is she’s writing in there is her entire world. The school drama, the friend fighting, the insecurities, the crushes. Have we forgotten how important and sacred that was when we were that age? Taking those thoughts from a teenager so casually and dismissively telling your co-workers about them is a fucking scandal. I am really sad for this kid, and really pissed.
I understand wanting to know what your kid is up to. I imagine it’ll be threefold when my kid hits puberty and perhaps I’ll be so desperate to understand her that I’ll pull my hair out (and thus completing the cycle, as that is what I did when she was a baby) but I will not invade her privacy. I’ll go the old fashioned way, and try talking to her. And maybe it won’t work at all, but coming from someone who has a relationship with her mom where I can tell her absolutely anything, I hope with all my might to have that with my daughter too. And I’m not going to get it by sneaking into her stuff.
*When two of the three left the room, the remaining busted out the cell phone and sent her thumbs a whirl on the keypad. I wanted to raise an eyebrow in her direction so she knew someone was on to her tiny hypocrisy, but I stuck to studying and making silent vows about the parent I am/hope to always be.
-CJ
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